Monthly Archives: April 2020

April 10, 2404 BCE

Posted on April 10, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 10, 2404 BCE, while Jehovah was playing the world-building video game, “Earth”, he made a critical error in judgement. He realized this game didn’t have the ability to save and restart at a prior point in time. This wouldn’t be a problem, but he hadn’t killed off all the dinosaurs yet. He also … Continue reading →

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April 9, 1872

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 9, 1872 Samuel R. Percy received a US patent for dried milk. This was a huge scientific invention in a time before wholesale refrigeration. Armies, prospectors, naval ships, and the poor finally had access to a milk substitute that was nutritious, light, and could be stored for months at a time. Mr. Percy … Continue reading →

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April 8, 1513

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 8, 1513, Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon landed at what is now called St. Augustine, Florida and claimed all of Florida for Spain. How’d he do this you ask? He stood on the land, planted a flag and yelled ‘DIBS’. The native people already there asked him what he was doing and … Continue reading →

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April 7, 1988

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 7, 1988, in Fort Smith, Arkansas, thirteen white supremacists were acquitted on charges of plotting to overthrow the US government. These weren’t good men, or moral men. They had murdered other people. They even killed one man because they mistakenly thought he was Jewish. The men who committed those murders were found guilty … Continue reading →

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April 6, 1973

Posted on April 6, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 6, 1973, a sign of the Tribulation was noted. Matthew 24:21 reads, “For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor never shall be”. And Mark 13:19 also stated, “For in those days there will be tribulation unmatched from the beginning … Continue reading →

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April 5, 33 CE

Posted on April 5, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 5, 33 CE, the first zombie apocalypse was purported to have occurred in Jerusalem. On this date the Bible states in Matthew 27:51-53, that there was an earthquake that woke the dead and they rose up and walked about the holy city. The anonymous author of Matthew claimed these zombies were seen by … Continue reading →

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April 4, 1948

Posted on April 4, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 4, 1948, 84-year-old Connie Mack got damned tired of hearing about 78-year-old Clark Griffith’s ancient athletic exploits and how good he used to be and challenged him to a foot race. Connie Mack, a former professional baseball player and the current Manager and team owner of the Philadephia A’s threw down the gauntlet … Continue reading →

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April 3, 1967

Posted on April 3, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 3, 1967, the US State Department reported that Hanoi and Communist Vietnam might be brainwashing American prisoners. American advertising agencies and cigarette companies immediately contacted the Viet Cong clandestinely, and offered to have a sit-down and discuss the different techniques used. When the American companies learned that the Viet Cong used physical torture … Continue reading →

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April 2, 2014

Posted on April 2, 2020 by Joel Byers

On April 2, 2014, the US Supreme Court ruled that political candidates were a commodity that could be bought and sold just like hog belly futures. They ruled that it was unconstitutional to place restrictions on the total amount of money that individuals (not real persons, but individuals, which included corporations) could donate to political … Continue reading →

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April 1, 2020

Posted on April 1, 2020 by Joel Byers

Breaking news! On April 1, 2020, the University of Farmington, Farmington, Michigan announced that it had achieved a significant breakthrough in producing a more meat-like meat substitute. The University of Farmington’s Department of Biology and Chemical Science lead by Professors Philip Brainard, Roy Hinkley, Jr and William Dyer IV had combined the DNA of a … Continue reading →

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