Monthly Archives: October 2019

October 31, 1846

On October 31, 1846, the Donner party, unable to cross the Truckee Lake Pass (now named the Donner Pass) constructed a winter camp due to the heavy snowfall. Unfortunate for them, one of the few books other than bibles in their possession was a Kanamit cookbook. Close Bookmark and Share This Page Save to Browser Favorites … Continue reading

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October 30, 1961

On October 30, 1961, the Soviet Party Congress finally approved a resolution to remove Stalin’s body from Lenin’s tomb in the Red Square. It was all part of Russia’s de-Stalinization efforts to show its citizens and the world that Stalin was really dead and had been since 1953. The Soviets came to the realization that … Continue reading

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October 29, 1991

On October 29, 1991, the asteroid 951 Gaspra was surprised while taking a shower by the American spacecraft Galileo. The spacecraft asked Gaspra if it has taken the Lord Jesus Christ as its personal savior. It then tried to leave several Watchtowers and Chick Tracts with Gaspra, but Gaspra huffed away and slammed the front … Continue reading

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October 28, 1612

On October 28, 1612, King James I of England appointed Robert Dowland as Court Luitist. It was said that his rendition of Greensleeves was a real shift raiser. James’s wife, Anne of Denmark was none too pleased.

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October 27, 1997

On October 27, 1997, the United States released a redesigned $50 bill with a younger, jauntier Ben Franklin. A Ben Franklin that said, “Yes. I’m old, but I’m sexy, and the chicks still dig me.’ A Ben Franklin that if he’d ever been President wouldn’t have lied about an intern, he’d bragged about it.

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October 26, 1988

On October 26, 1988, Donald Trump billed Boxing champion Mike Tyson $2,000,000 for four months’ advisory services. That was the second time in October that Tyson got screwed by a little bitch for his money.

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October 25, 2000

On October 25, 2000, AT&T Corporation announced that it had finally attended family counseling and because of the help of its therapist, it would be restructuring into a family of four, separately trading companies. AT&T Business would be the Daddy, AT&T Consumer would be the Mommy, and AT&T Broadband and AT&T Wireless would be the … Continue reading

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October 24, 2001

On October 24, 2001, the US House of Representatives approved legislation that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a person’s telephone conversations and track a person’s use of the Internet. The police were surprised by how much people loved cat videos. They were not surprised at how much Southern preachers … Continue reading

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October 23, 1690

On October 23, 1690, the citizen of Haarlem, Netherlands revolted against the government for one day. The city had enacted a public ban against smoking. The citizens rose up, for a little bit, and hacked and coughed their way to the town hall, where they had a bit of a rest. They then yelled and … Continue reading

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October 22, 1844

On October 22, 1844, the religious followers of William Miller experienced the ‘Great Disappointment’. This was the day that William Miller promised that Jesus would return and all good Christians would be Raptured to Heaven. The Millerites were extremely disappointed when it didn’t happen. Lucy Smith Miller, William’s wife of 21 years, said that the … Continue reading

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