Tag Archives: Cthulhu

January 8, 1998

Posted on January 8, 2021 by Joel Byers

On January 8, 1998, scientists announced that they had discovered that the galaxies were accelerating and moving apart. This was a huge announcement in the scientific community, as scientists, prior to this, believed that the mass and gravity of the… Continue reading →

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December 24, 1818

Posted on December 24, 2020 by Joel Byers

On December 24, 1818, the alignment of the stars was perfect and “Silent Night” was performed for the first time at St Nicholas parish church in Oberndorf, Austria. Father Joseph Mohr brought his poem “Stille Nacht”, which he’d… Continue reading →

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November 19, 1969

Posted on November 19, 2020 by Joel Byers

On November 19, 1969, Apollo 12’s astronauts, Charles Conrad and Alan Bean, made mankind’s second landing on the Moon. It really happened contrary to what idiot flat-earthers believe. Why did America go back so fast after the… Continue reading →

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October 9, 2020

Posted on October 9, 2020 by Joel Byers

October 9, 2020, is National Nanotechnology Day in the United States. If Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and the digital representation of Steve Jobs all see their shadows, the microships embedded in the American population through the… Continue reading →

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October 1, 1957

Posted on October 1, 2020 by Joel Byers

On October 1, 1957, the first appearance of “In God We Trust” first appeared on paper currency in the United States. From deep beneath his place of rest underneath the Pentagon, Cthulhu was pleased. Jehovah sent him an… Continue reading →

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September 30, 1960

Posted on September 30, 2020 by Joel Byers

On September 30, 1960, on Howdy Doody’s (the evil Ron Howard impersonating puppet’s) last show, Clarabelle the Clown finally talked and said, “Ph’nglui mglw’naf’h Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagen. Goodbye Kids.” Continue reading →

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July 30, 1956

Posted on July 30, 2020 by Joel Byers

On July 30, 1956, the US Congress adopted “In God We Trust” as the official motto of the United States. Jehovah, Odin, Buddha, Zeus, The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster, Cthulhu, and Cold Hard Cash all were at first happy and… Continue reading →

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May 17, 2004

Posted on May 17, 2020 by Joel Byers

On May 17, 2004, the first legal same-sex marriage was performed in the United States in the state of Massachusetts. The “Wrath of God” did not immediately happen as foretold by conservative religious leaders. Cats and dogs were… Continue reading →

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May 13, 1559

Posted on May 13, 2020 by Joel Byers

On May 13, 1559, Netherlands Anabaptist leader, David Joris, had his three year old corpse exhumed in Basel. His corpse was then convicted of heresy and burned as punishment. Turns out people with grudges can still act childish and throw stones even after you die. The person with a grudge? His son-in-law Anabaptist leader Nicolas … Continue reading →

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November 10, 1969

Posted on November 10, 2019 by Joel Byers

On November 10, 1969, “Sesame Street” premiered on PBS TV. Automatonophobia reared its ugly head and the rational fear of Muppets was created in a generation of children. When children would go to bed and ask their parents, “Will Kermit eat my soul when I close my eyes and go to sleep?” Their parents had … Continue reading →

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