Category Archives: Historical Facts

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March 5, 1989

On March 5, 1989, in Columbia, South Carolina, convicted killer Michael Godwin died by irony. Mr. Godwin had just recently had his murder sentence lessened from frying in the electric-chair to life in prison. On March 5, 1989, Mr. Godwin was sitting naked on his cell’s toilet when he decided to do a little prison … Continue reading

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February 28, 2013

On February 28, 2013, Pope Benedict XVI retired as the pope of the Catholic Church at the spry young age of 85, the first to do so since Pope Gregory XII in 1415. All the others had died while on the job, obviously needing the money. Pope Benny Boy had obviously made some good investments … Continue reading

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February 27, 1813

On February 27, 1813, the American government passed the first federal regulation on vaccination, the Act to Encourage Vaccination,” which was used to vaccinate the population against smallpox. This was when the Reptilian Overlords of Gliese 832 first started putting microchips in selected American citizens to measure their fat to muscle ratio to determine who … Continue reading

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February 26, 2011

On February 26, 2011, Allen Jones and his wife, Aleisha, of Bay Minette, Alabama played and lost Redneck Bingo. On the 26th, Allen decided to carry his truck-pistol, a .40 Glock (in Alabama, you have guns you keep in your car as a fashion accessory just in case a libtard wins a local election) inside … Continue reading

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February 25, 1956

On February 25, 1956, Soviet Leader Nikita Khrushchev gave a speech before the Communist Party in Moscow. In his speech, ‘On the Cult of Personality and Its Consequences’, Khrushchev criticized former Soviet leader, Josef Stalin. Khrushchev was no fool, as Stalin had been dead for three years and he’d made sure that Stalin had a … Continue reading

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February 24, 2006

On February 24, 2006, scientists at the Sandia National Laboratories in Albuquerque, New Mexico published an amazing accomplishment in the ‘Physical Review Letters’, a national scientific review journal. Chris Deeney, a scientist exploring the mysterious that ‘man was not meant to know’ gushed that his team of researchers had just produced superheated gas that exceeded … Continue reading

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February 23, 1574

On February 23, 1574, France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. Why? Because the first four just weren’t holy enough and didn’t carry the sparkle that God demanded when the Catholics and Protestants went to killing each other. He said that if he wanted to see a down and dirty knuckle-buster, he’d just … Continue reading

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February 22, 1984

On February 22, 1984, the US Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in population of 19.2 percent. When presented with its award, the state of Alaska said it wanted to thank the McMurty family of Fairbanks for being Catholic and refusing … Continue reading

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February 21, 1947

On February 21, 1947, American inventor, Edwin Land, presented and demonstrated his invention, the Polaroid Land Camera, to the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the first camera that was able to take, develop, and print a picture in around 60 seconds. The photos were in black and white and the … Continue reading

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February 20, 1935

On February 20, 1935, Caroline Mikkelsen, wife of Norwegian Captain, Klarius Mikkelsen became the first woman to put her boot on Antarctica. The Giant Psychic Emperor penguins were pleased with Captain Mikkelsen’s attempt at tribute, but they sent Caroline home as they had their hearts set on someone else. They inquired about Mikkelsen’s ability to … Continue reading

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