Monthly Archives: March 2020

March 31, 2000

On March 31, 2000 the apocalyptic Catholic cult, “The Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God of Uganda cashed in all their chips. The cult leaders (Credonia Mwerinde, Joseph Kibweteere, Joseph Kasapurari, John Kamagara, and Dominic Kataribabo) bet the house that the world would end on December 31, 1999 and all their … Continue reading

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March 30, 988

On March 30, 988 CE, Baldwin IV with the Beard, became the Count of Flanders when he succeeded his father, Amulf II. Did Baldwin do anything truly noteworthy? No. But he also didn’t really screw anything up, which can be thought of as an accomplishment in and of itself. He was able to grow a … Continue reading

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March 29, 1942

On March 29, 1942, the British cruiser, the HMS Trinidad torpedoed itself while escorting a convoy of supply ships in the Barents Sea. It was not true that the Skipper of the Trinidad was a Jonas Grumby, just as it was not true that the seaman who loaded the faulty torpedo was not a certain … Continue reading

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March 28, 845

On March 28, 845 CE, 5,000 Danish Viking went on Spring Break and occupied Paris, France. They partied like only a Viking can. They pillaged, they rampaged and they performed a little sexual assault against women, men, and the occasional attractive farm animal. In other words, they treated 845 Paris like college kids have treated … Continue reading

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March 27, 1794

On March 27, 1794, the countries of Denmark and Sweden formed a neutrality compact. They promised to not be enemies, but they didn’t promise to be friends. It was like when you go to a house-party that the Smith-Wyatts put together for the 4th of July and you see the Williams’s walk in before you … Continue reading

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March 26, 2015

On March 26, 2015, the body of Richard III of England was reburied at Leicester Cathedral in England. His missing body had been discovered under a parking lot in Leicester in 2012. In 2016, his ghost started communicating with a spiritologist in Leicester who uses the alias Sister Stefon. Sister Stefon says that King Richard … Continue reading

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March 25, 1593

On March 25, 1593, Dutch scholar, theologian, and priest, Cornelius Loos recanted his earlier protest against the witchcraft persecution that was being carried out by the Catholic Church in Europe. He wrote a book protesting the witch hunts and questioned the beliefs and morals of the witch hunters. He also questioned the validity of any … Continue reading

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March 24, 1815

On March 24, 1815, the first pop group fan club was formed in America. The Handel & Hayden Society was formed in Boston, Massachusetts by Gottlieb Graupner, Thomas Smith Webb, Amasa Winchester and Matthew S. Parker to cultivate and improve a correct taste in the performance of Sacred Music, and to introduce into more general … Continue reading

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March 23, 1982

On March 23, 1982, the Space Shuttle Columbia was launched into orbit. Many people don’t remember this. They remember the Space Shuttle Challenger exploding on or around this date. It didn’t. That tragedy happened on January 28, 1986, but the people who are convinced it happened in 1982 will swear they remember it. They will … Continue reading

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March 22, 1733

On March 22, 1733, mankind took the first step toward creating the perfect beverage. On this date, British scientist Joseph Priestley invented carbonated water. Unfortunately, it would take 153 years before man was ready to take the next step and invent Coca Cola and another 96 years before Diet Coke would evolve. All hail Diet … Continue reading

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