March 30, 988

On March 30, 988 CE, Baldwin IV with the Beard, became the Count of Flanders when he succeeded his father, Amulf II. Did Baldwin do anything truly noteworthy? No. But he also didn’t really screw anything up, which can be thought of as an accomplishment in and of itself. He was able to grow a really thick and luxurious beard, though. During a time when they named the nobility after physical deformities and antisocial traits, like Charles the Bald, Louis the Debonaire, and Peter the $%#@. To be honest, Peter also created a lot of roads, but his people didn’t call him Peter the Road Builder. He also fought a lot of battles and won, but his people didn’t call him Peter the Brave. He also had a lot of kids, both legitimate and illegitimate, but his people didn’t call him Peter the Fruitful or even Peter the Horny. But screw one pig. But back to Baldwin and his beard. It was so good that even his portraits show it as long and bouncy. To one of the first Hipsters, way to wear the Beard, Baldwin.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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