February 26, 2011

On February 26, 2011, Allen Jones and his wife, Aleisha, of Bay Minette, Alabama played and lost Redneck Bingo. On the 26th, Allen decided to carry his truck-pistol, a .40 Glock (in Alabama, you have guns you keep in your car as a fashion accessory just in case a libtard wins a local election) inside his house. Unfortunately, he tripped, fell, and accidentally shot himself in the leg. He started screaming for his wife to help him, because getting shot in the leg hurts. She was bathing their young son and rushed outside, as did their naked child. She reached for the gun, but the young boy got to it first and grabbed it. When Aleisha tried to take the Glock away from him, the naked boy shot her in the neck. Accidentally, they say. Neighbors heard the commotion and gunfire and called 911. The police and ambulance arrived and carried both parents to the hospital. No charges were filed and both parents were in stable conditions. The naked, gun-toting toddler wasn’t charged, but the police did try and explain why a center-mass shot was more reliable and easier to hit than a head-shot. Too many times you miss the head completely and graze the neck.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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