April 5, 33 CE

On April 5, 33 CE, the first zombie apocalypse was purported to have occurred in Jerusalem. On this date the Bible states in Matthew 27:51-53, that there was an earthquake that woke the dead and they rose up and walked about the holy city. The anonymous author of Matthew claimed these zombies were seen by many. He doesn’t say what happened to them. Whether they mumbled sekhel or cerebellum as they stumbled around wasn’t reported, nor was it told what happened to these suddenly undead saints and people. Did they just go back to the grave after a holiday? Were they rounded up by the Roman army and reburied? Were they put to work? No one knows. Also, no one else reported that this happened during the time Jesus supposedly was executed and resurrected. Not even the other anonymous authors of the other Gospels wrote about the zombies. Roman contemporaries failed to mention something as unusual as an earthquake or the dead rising from the grave and walking around. Guess it was the early Christians little walking dead secret.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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