July 7, 1456

On this date in 1456 a retrial verdict acquited Joan of Arc of heresy 25 years after her death and declared that an innocence woman was convicted of heresy. Two days later, Joan’s mother, Isabelle Romee, tried to contact her via a séance with the famous French sorceress Jehanne le Gaillarde. Mademoiselle Gaillarde was able to reach Joan, but her spirit-mail message stated that she was “Currently busy stomping Pierre Cauchon’s frog butt and would you please leave a message at the sound of the bell”. Isabelle Romee was thrilled to learn that her daughter had a hobby to enjoy during her after-life and being the good Christian woman that she was, immediately had Mademoiselle Gaillarde burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft. Mademoiselle’s last words were her admonishing of the crowd at her burning for drinking Sauvignon Blanc instead of the her preferred Cabernet Sauvignon, as she was most definitely a red meat and not a white, like chicken.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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