Monthly Archives: March 2020

March 11, 1946

Posted on March 11, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 11, 1946, the official newspaper of the USSR, Pravda, denounced English Prime Minister Winston Churchill as being anti-Soviet and a warmonger. Churchill replied, “Duh, it’s as though you hadn’t heard any of my speeches or read about any of my policies for the last seven years. I know it’s in English, but couldn’t … Continue reading →

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March 10, 241 BCE

Posted on March 10, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 10, 241 BCE, the Romans won the first Punic War by sinking the Carthaginian fleet. Quintus Valerius Falto, the Roman commander watched the final Carthaginian ship sink beneath the Mediterranean waves as he tried to think of a pun or quote to seal the glorious moment. He considered saying, “I’ll be back”, but … Continue reading →

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March 9, 1497

Posted on March 9, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 9, 1497 Nicholas Copernicus made the first recorded astronomical observation. Without the use of a telescope, he wrote that he saw the Moon eclipse the brightest star in the eye of the Taurus constellation. The next day he continued his heavenly body observations when he wrote that he noticed that the young widow … Continue reading →

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March 8, 1978

Posted on March 8, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 8, 1978, A Vogon battle cruiser was travelling through the solar system when it picked up the first-ever radio broadcast of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’. Douglas Adams’s show was transmitted on BBC Radio 4. The captain of the Vogon battle cruiser mistakenly thought that the Earth had detected them and was … Continue reading →

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March 7, 1994

Posted on March 7, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 7, 1994 the United States Supreme Court ruled in Campbell vs Acuff-Rose Music, Inc., that parodies of an original work were generally covered under the doctrine of fair use. The porn industry sighed in relief as they dodged another bullet.

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March 6, 2018

Posted on March 6, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 6, 2018, the world’s oldest message in a bottle was found on a beach in Western Australia. It had been tossed from the German ship Paula on June 12, 1886. The message said, “Liebe Annika. Senden sie nackte.”

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March 5, 1993

Posted on March 5, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 5, 1993 Cuban President Fidel Castro said that American First Lady Hillary Clinton was a “beautiful woman’. President Bill Clinton quickly agreed, but he also said, “It’s true that Hillary is a beautiful woman, but she’s no fat-bottomed, chain smoking, big-nosed, white-trashy southern girl.” Clinton then looked around wistfully and muttered, “She certainly … Continue reading →

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March 4, 1841

Posted on March 4, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 4, 1841, William Henry Harrison gave the longest US presidential inauguration speech ever. It was 8,445 words long and lasted just under two hours. He died 31 one days later. He gave the longest inauguration speech ever and had the shortest term as President, ever. Karma? Maybe.

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March 3, 1985

Posted on March 3, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 3, 1985, the group Women Against Pornography awarded it’s annual ‘Pig Award’ to Huggies Diapers. The angry activists claimed that Huggies TV ads for diapers had ‘crossed the line between eye-catching and porn.’ In other related news, every woman who was a member of WAP was also named Karen. In other, other related … Continue reading →

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March 2, 1917

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Joel Byers

On March 2, 1917, the citizens of the American Territory of Puerto Rico were granted US citizenship with the enactment of the Jones Act. This means for the last 100 years, Puerto Ricans have been American citizens with all the rights and duties and privileges of an American citizen. They can even vote for the … Continue reading →

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