Monthly Archives: April 2019

April 10, 1992

Posted on April 10, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 10, 1992, just outside Needles, California, comedian Sam Kinison died when his car was struck by a pickup truck on a desert road between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. He went immediately to hell and the devil looked up with surprise and said, “Sam, you’re not supposed to be here until sometime next … Continue reading →

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April 9, 1945

Posted on April 9, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 9, 1945, National Football League Commissioner Elmer Layden decided that the football paying public no longer wanted to see a professional football player’s hairy, scarred legs. He decreed that all NFL players must wear long stockings that reach up to the knee. Unfortunately, while this did hide the hirsute extremities of the ape-men … Continue reading →

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April 8, 1766

Posted on April 8, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 8, 1766, the first fire escape was supposedly patented. There is a rudimentary drawing that showed a wicker basket attached to a rope and pulley system that would allow people to lower themselves to the ground from a second, third, or fourth floor window. There is not an identifiable inventor for this contraption. … Continue reading →

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April 7, 1864

Posted on April 7, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 7, 1864, the first camel race was put on by Samuel McLenegham in Sacramento, California. Mr. McLenegham had purchased the camels from the US Army after its failed attempt to establish a Camel Corp that could transport goods and mail across the America desert. What the US Army failed to understand was that … Continue reading →

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April 6, 1722

Posted on April 6, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 6, 1722, Peter the Great, Tsar of Russia ended the beard tax that he imposed back in 1698. He imposed the tax, along with other measures to modernize Russia so it could compete with the Englands, Frances, and Spains of the European world. The other things he did, like changing Russia’s calendar, the … Continue reading →

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April 5, 456

Posted on April 5, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 5, 456, the most famous Ophidiophobicist in history returned to Ireland. Saint Patrick returned to Ireland as a missionary bishop and the last snake packed its bags and immigrated to England before making its way to France. The last snake was heard to hiss on its way out, “Hope you choke on the … Continue reading →

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April 4, 1581

Posted on April 4, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 4, 1581, Sir Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. This was due to his feat of being the first captain to circumnavigate the world and not die in the attempt. Ferdinand Magellan was the first captain to start an attempt as a sea voyage from 1519 to 1522, but he died … Continue reading →

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April 3, 1776

Posted on April 3, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 3, 1776, George Washington received an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from Harvard College. While honored, George Washington almost declined it, as he was waiting to hear back from the Art Instruction School. He’d read an ad in the Pennsylvania Gazette that said, “Dost Thou Lovest To Scribble? Can Thoust Draw This Drunken … Continue reading →

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April 2, 2008

Posted on April 2, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 2, 2008, President Bush backed Ukraine’s and Georgia’s bid to join NATO over the staunch opposition of Russia. Alabama Governor, Bob Riley, secretly sent President Bush a note that whined, “How the H E double hockey sticks is Georgia getting an invitation to NATO. If Georgia’s getting an invitation, then by damned, Alabama … Continue reading →

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April 1, 1970

Posted on April 1, 2019 by Joel Byers

On April 1, 1970, the first of over 670,000 AMC Gremlins were released into the American driving ecosystem to compete with the invasive Volkswagon Beetles and Toyota Coronas. Unfortunately, the Gremlin was a weaker and inferior automotive species and was quickly devoured and beaten by the stronger, and better built foreign subcompacts. American automotive companies … Continue reading →

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