September 22, 1979

On September 22, 1979 a bright flash, now known as the Vela Incident, was observed in the Indian Ocean near Prince Edward Islands. It was detected by the American Vela satellite which carried various sensors designed to detect nuclear explosions in violation of the Partial Nuclear Test Ban Treaty. The countries that the world believe were most likely conducting these secretive tests were either Israel, South Africa, the Soviet Union, Pakistan, India or France. In truth, it wasn’t any of these countries. Area 51 has acknowledged that it was in fact Ripsorck Epsilom 14 of Gliese 832. Ripsorck was having a problem with his alternator while flying over the South Atlantic/Western Indian Oceans when his Plutonium-244 Drive hiccupped and blew out his left-rear engine, causing the Vela Flash. So, it wasn’t any of the Earth countries sneaking around trying to surreptitiously test nuclear weapons, it was old Ripsorck and his used spaceships that he keeps dumping his hard-earned credits into. He should just save a little money and buy one new from the dealership, instead of wasting his credits on those buy here/pay here used spaceship lots.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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