September 23, 1938

On September 23, 1938, a time capsule was buried at the World’s Fair in New York City. It was ordered to not be opened until 6939. The time capsule contained a woman’s hat, a man’s pipe and 1,100 feet of microfilm. In 6939, when the time capsule was discovered and opened by the cockroachian robot overlords, they had no idea what the hat and pipe were used for, but the delicious microfilm was quickly parceled out and sold on the Black Market as some really good, high-grade fiche. The cockroachian robots weren’t sure what the extinct hoo-mans ate, but they must have enjoyed some mind-blowing drugs, as evident by the micro-fiche they’d hidden away.

Technically, the Cockroachian Overlords aren’t robots. They’re cybernetically-enhanced mutant cockroaches. Besides, they all get overthrown in the Great Revolt of 6942 anyway. Too bad they didn’t Share Twisted-History. If they had, their empire might’ve survived.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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2 Responses to September 23, 1938

  1. That One Nerd says:

    Dear Mr. Twisted-Historian,

    In your post for September 23, 2014, you said that the time capsule was discovered in the year 11,346 by Raccoon People of the White Water Tribe, but in the post for September 23, 2020, you said that the time capsule was discovered in the year 6939 by the Cockroachian Robot Overlords.

    I have some questions:

    1. If the capsule was dug up in 6939, then how was it there to be discovered again in 11,346?
    2. Since the Cockroachian Robot Overlords opened it on the intended year, they must have known of its existence. How did they know?
    3. If all humans are extinct in 6939, who are the robot cockroaches Overlords of?
    4. How is the microfilm still intact in 6939, but reduced to dust just 4,407 years later?
    5. If the Racoon people knew about you in 11,346, then did the Cockroachian Robot Overlords also know about you in 6939? If not, how did Racoon people learn about you?
    6. Likewise, if the Racoon people knew how to use a hat and pipe in 11,346, how were the Cockroachian Robot Overlords unaware of it in 6939? How was that knowledge lost and then rediscovered?

    I have many, many more questions, but that’s enough for now.

    I anxiously await your reply!

    That One Nerd

  2. Joel Byers says:

    Hello that One Nerd. Thank you for your inquiry about future employment to help keep the future time-lines clean. Over here at Twisted-History Central, we have an extra large time capsule that needs to be examined from the inside and you appear to be the best qualified candidate. Please be sure to arrive 15 minutes early and bring some bottled water and snacks and maybe some micro-fiche.

    The Twisted Historian

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