November 12, 1964

On November 12, 1964, American Paula Murphy set the women’s land speed record of 226.37 mph. Her kids said that if you think she was fast then, you should see her move when they back-sass her. They said it was like she teleports from any room in the house to holding the back of your shirt while slapping you with a flipflop. They say what’s really strange is why she hits you with a flipflop, since nobody in the Murphy household even owns a pair.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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