August 3, 2011

On this day in in 2011, Ugandan and French paleontologists announced the discovery of a 20 million year old ape skull in northeastern Uganda. The skull belonged to a male Ugandapithecus Major, a remote cousin of today’s great apes. It was speculated that this type of ape was a tree-climber and had not developed the skills necessary to survive in a non-tree environment. The French scientists said that if this type of ape had survived, the other primates would have considered him the poor, country cousin, much the same as American New Yorkers would look down upon a visitor from Arkansas or Kentucky. When asked why they thought this, the scientists said they found a fossilized sleeveless T-shirt next to the skull that had pictograms on it that was translated to “I don’t kiss her because she’s my cousin, I do it cause she’s purty”.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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