August 26, 580 CE

On THIS DATE IN TWISTED-HISTORY! in 580 AD, the Chinese invented toilet paper. Up until that time wet sponges (the Romans), the odd shaped leaf, re-washable cloths, and the occasional startled cat or wandering sheep was used. It is also a little known fact that Genghis Khan invaded and conquered China just for their soft and scented toilet paper. Riding on a horse all day, everyday, can result in a raging case of hemorrhoids, which can also explain Genghis Kahn’s predilection towards homicidal rages. It is not a coincidence that Genghis Kahn’s temperament improved considerably after conquering the source of a toilet paper that didn’t have wood chips in it.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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