April 24, 1519

On April 24, 1519, the envoys of Montezuma II, the Aztec emperor of Mexico, attended the first Easter mass in Central America as guests of Spanish conqueror, excuse me, Spanish colonizer, wait, of Spanish tourist, Hernan Cortes. The Aztecan envoys said the religious ceremony was quaint and filled with quiet dignity. They especially loved how this Jesus fellow was sacrificed. They just thought the remembrance ceremony could use a little pizzazz. Some snap. Some sparkle. A few dozen enemy captives having their still beating hearts cut from their chests with a very sharp obsidian blade. They said they’d give this Easter mass, three and a half macuahuitls out of five.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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