February 20, 1673 and 1984

7 Responses to February 20, 1673 and 1984

1. Amy Rothsberg says:

   February 20, 2014 at 10:34 pm

   Actually, my husband started the auction with “Whyyyy do we have to go oooouuuuut? I waaaaaana watch the gaaaaaaaaame.”

   I just put in the winning bid.

   Yours truly,
   Amy Rothsberg
2. Joel Byers says:

   February 21, 2014 at 3:36 pm

   The real Amy Rothsberg did not post the above statement, as she was very proud of her winning bid on the “whine” up for bid and had wanted to own it for several years. As every one should know, a football husband does not whine, he just suffers in silence until the divorce. Also, in auctions, you don’t get to offer up your own property, but you bid on others. Mrs. Laura Buccelli the owner of “You can watch the Giants next week” whine had reluctantly put her intellectual property up for auction after marrying her third husband, who was not a football fan and quickly found himself unable to stand up to her strong-willed browbeating. The late Mr. Sherman Buccelli (he took her name) died peacefully in his sleep after four years of marriage. They said it was the happiest he’d looked in four years.
3. The Real Amy Rothsberg says:

   February 25, 2014 at 10:08 pm

   I was proud of winning, still am. But I didn’t put in the starting bid.

   And if you don’t think football husbands ever whine, try having the cable go out on a Sunday afternoon, at a critical point in the game. They may yell and rant, when the cable company says it’ll be Monday before they can get out, but when they hang up the phone and they’re sitting there staring at a snowy screen, you will hear some world class whining and complaining. At least until they can find a buddy with a satellite dish.

   I’m still WAY better at it (I did win after all), but it’s only sportsmanlike to acknowledge a worthy competitor.

   Yours truly,
   Amy Rothsberg
4. The Ghostbusters says:

   February 25, 2014 at 10:12 pm

   I really hate it when people go around sticking the word “real” in front of their names.

   What is it supposed to mean anyway? Does that mean everybody else with that name is fake? Even if they had a very popular movie and are clearly the ones everybody’s talking about when they say the name? I mean just because your cartoon may have been created first, what does that matter if we’re the only reason you got famous? I mean–

   Wait… What were we talking about again?
5. Joel Byers says:

   February 27, 2014 at 8:37 pm

   This is a transcript from a voice mail left on Twisted-History’s answering machine:

   Caller 1: Stephen? Steeeephen? Are you listening to me? I said…..oh don’t you walk out of the room…Why does this telephone have to have a cord! Daddy always made sure I had the latest I-phone! DAMMIT STEPHEN!

   Caller 1 a little later: Hello, is this Twisted-History? Is it? Well, I’m suing and my Daddy is a lawyer and HE says I’m going to OWN YOU! (a man mumbling in the background) I KNOW he’s just a real estate attorney, but these buffoons at Twisted-History don’t know that! (man mumbles again) What? I’m still talking in the phone….

   Caller 1 calls back again: Hello, Jerky-History! This is Amy Rothsberg again. You tell those fake Amy’s with their cheap spray-on tans, that if they don’t stop using MY name and claiming to be me, I’m going to come to their homes and beat them with their fake Versace purses. I will, even the maid next door is afraid of me, and she’s a sww’arz.
6. The One True Original Amy Rothsberg says:

   February 27, 2014 at 11:16 pm

   Spray-on tans? Fake Versace purses? Oh, it is on!

   Listen here, you Cheap Plastic Imitation Amy Rothsberg. I’ll have you know that I was Amy Rothsberg before Amy Rothsberg was Amy Rothsberg, and I can out-Amy-Rothsberg anybody. Your boxed-whine attitude doesn’t mean squat to me.

   And your daddy is a lawyer? Big effin’ deal. I’m a lawyer, biotch.

   Don’t make me get litigious on your skanky butt! I’ll make your “daddy” cry like a little girl.

   Ciao,
   The One True Original Amy Rothsberg
   (Accept No Substitutes)
7. The Ghostbusters says:

   February 28, 2014 at 12:45 am

   I think we’re all losing sight of the most important question here: Which Amy Rothsberg was a VERY popular 80’s movie?

   It doesn’t matter which one is “The Real” Amy Rothsberg. What matters is how popular her 80’s movie was. Anybody can put together a cheap, animated Amy Rothsberg and call it The Real Amy Rothsberg, and maybe they had an Amy Rothsberg comic book that had nothing to do with the HIT movie, and maybe it was around before the MASSIVELY SUCCESSFUL movie, but who cares, if nobody had ever heard of it before.

   Sure, any old Amy Rothsberg can pop up and ride the coattails of the CLASSIC ICONIC Amy Rothsberg movie, but that doesn’t make them “The Real”, in important way.

   Do I sound bitter? I don’t mean to sound bitter.

   I’m going to try to calm down here, but–

   Wait… What?

   Okay, I’ve just been told that WE were called The Real Ghostbusters and those other guys were just called The Ghostbusters, which is STILL a bit of a travesty, since they had NOTHING to do with the movie and– What? Okay, fine. Forget I said anything.