August 12, 1955

On August 12, 1955, US President Eisenhower raised the minimum wage from 75 cents to $1 an hour. Contrary to the voices of the John Birch Society and other conservative Republican leaders, this raising of the minimum wage did not collapse society as a whole. Also, contrary to the conservative leaders, the recipients of this minimum wage increase did not spend it on beer, cigarettes and sluts. They spent it on housing, groceries and utilities.

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August 11, 1942

On August 11, 1942, the ex-Prime Minister of France, Pierre Laval publicly announced “the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany wins the war.” Talk about not aging well. Something else that didn’t age well was when US President Donald Trump tweeted on April 17, 2020, “Biden/Obama were a disaster in handling the H1N1 Swine Flu. 17,000 people died unnecessarily and through incompetence.” Almost four months later on August 9, 2020, 162,000 Americans had unnecessarily lost their lives to Covid-19 through Trump and his administration’s incompetence. Trump should have learned from Laval about publicly saying something stupid.

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August 10, 1921

On August 10, 1921, at the age of 39, future New York Governor and US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was stricken with polio. It has become obvious to some people years later that Roosevelt wouldn’t have become paralyzed if he had just used essential oils on his legs and spine after the first onset of polio had been detected. He’d still be paralyzed, but he would have smelled better. Or he could have used prayer to heal his legs. What? People did pray and he was still left paralyzed? Okay, God was mysterious in his refusal. God must have refused to heal him because he knew Roosevelt was going to become a socialist communist who was going to try and destroy the holy capitalistic economy that God had passed down through Moses. Or, Roosevelt was just being a big snowflake baby, because polio was no worse than catching the flu in 1921. Of course, the Spanish Flu killed 50 million people worldwide in 1918-1919 and 675,000 in the United States. Or Roosevelt could have just doubled down on his Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and Vitamin E intake. What? Roosevelt was rich and he already was being fed a varied diet that contained all the nutrients, fiber, and protein he needed. Okay, then what could have prevented Roosevelt from catching this killer disease or have helped his recovery? Nothing, he was just unlucky at the time. There wasn’t a way to test for polio in 1921 and the Polio Vaccine wasn’t invented until 1954. Unlike today when we CAN test for a virus like Covid-19 and we know how it’s spread so we can take scientifically proven precautions to reduce our chances of catching a killer disease. Real science. Saving lives without the woo-woo.

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August 9, 1956

On August 9, 1956, the first statewide, state-supported educational network went on the air in Alabama. WBIQ in Birmingham and WAIQ in Andalusia started airing programs as members of the Alabama Educational Television Commission. Several important programs were broadcast to the native Alabamians, such as “The Importance of Brushing and Flossing Your Tooth”, “Why It’s Okay to Kiss Your Cousin, But Not Your Cow”, and “It’s True, God Says Roll Tide”.

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August 8, 1969

On August 8, 1969, at a zebra crossing in London, England, photographer Iain Macmillan was able to capture with a photo the most famous image of four Beatles crossing a road in history. No actual zebras or beetles were harmed in the taking of this photo.

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August 7, 1991

On August 7, 1991, ex-Panamanian strongman and CIA favorite Colonel Manuel Noriega was being tried in the United States for drug trafficking, racketeering and money laundering. He had petitioned the Court for the right to access some secret US documents and the Court agreed. In addition to the information about the CIA paying him $10,000,000 as the behind the scenes ruler of Panama, it is rumored that he also asked for information about Area 51, the ‘real’ Kennedy assassination files, the Masonic/Illuminati membership fee schedule, and which Elder God was buried beneath the Pentagon. He only got the information about the CIA and his payments.

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August 6, 1675

On August 6, 1675, Russian Tsar Alexis was getting irritated with his Russian boyars. The boyars were the old Russian aristocrats. They were starting to adopt the latest customs from the bourgeois Polish and German foreign ministers. Those Poles and Franks with their fancy, sissified haircuts and expensive clothes. Alexis finally had enough. If long uncut beards and good woolen clothes were good enough for his dedushka, it’s good enough for the modnyye mal’chiki today. He issued an order that forbid courtiers to adopt foreign, German and other customs as well as cutting their hair in the effeminate foreign styles, or to wear clothes and hats of foreign design, and they couldn’t let their servants do it either. He believed if you were a Russian, you’d dress and look like a Russian, proklyat’ye.

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August 5, 1861

On August 5, 1861, the US Army abolished flogging. It was said by many of the older officers, who weren’t subjected to flogging as a punishment anyway, that removing the threat of the lash would allow the common soldier to go buck wild. They said it was the beginning of the end of Army discipline. One hundred and fifty-nine years later, the average soldier in the US Army is one of the premier fighting men in the world. Abolishing flogging didn’t stop them from winning the Civil War, World War I, or even World War II. I guess treating a soldier like a human being in their punishment doesn’t make them, or you, a weakling snowflake.

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August 4, 1954

On August 4, 1954, the ‘Uranium Rush’ began in Saskatchewan, Canada. Miners flocked to the area to try their hands at finding the valuable ore. A Uranium Rush is very similar to a Gold Rush, but with more nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, fevers, dizziness and disorientation, weakness and fatigue, hair loss, infections, low blood pressure, and bloody vomit and stools from internal bleeding. Or as many of the prospectors said, “Just another Saturday night, eh?”

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August 3, 1943

On August 3, 1943, while visiting a military hospital tent during World War II, Lt. General George S. Patton encountered a soldier with no visible injuries. The soldier, 18-year-old Pvt. Charles H. Kuhl, had been tentatively diagnosed with psychoneurosis. When Patton asked him what was wrong with him, he told Patton that he couldn’t mentally handle the battle lines. “It’s my nerves,” he said. “I can hear the shells come over but I can’t hear them burst.” This made Patton so angry that he slapped him and called him a coward. As Patton was leaving the tent, he heard the soldier crying and rushed back and slapped him again and ordered him out of the tent. Turns out Kuhl was suffering from malaria and a high fever. Word got back to General Eisenhower and he almost removed Patton from command. Instead, he forced Patton to go back and publicly apologize to the soldier. That’s not a story you normally hear about Patton.

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