August 21, 1841

On August 21, 1841, the first US patent for a venetian blind was issued to John Hampson of New Orleans, Louisiana, thereby making it much easier to spy on the antics of your neighbors from the comfort of your own living room. Before the venetian blind, if you wanted to watch your neighbors argue and fight, you had to sit on the front porch, letting them and the rest of the neighborhood know you were snooping.

Posted in 19th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

August 20, 1923

On August 20, 1923, the “Shenandoah”, the first American dirigible was launched. It went airborne at its mooring in Lakehurst, NJ. The “Shenandoah” was cautioned about flying over Washington, DC when the Senate was is session as the large and copious amounts of hot air could force the airship high up in the atmosphere and freeze the crew and passengers.

Posted in 20th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August 19, 1839

On August 19, 1839, the details of Louis Daguerre’s first practical photographic process were released in Paris, France. Nonsurprisingly, one of the last steps of the process was to mail any nude photographs to Mr. Daguerre, so he could be certain of the picture quality, thereby, being the first to tell women to “Send Nudez”.

Posted in 19th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

August 18, 1587

On August 18, 1587, Virginia Dare became the first child born on American soil of English parents, thereby becoming the first anchor baby in American history.

Posted in 16th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August 17, 1995

On August 17, 1995, a first occurred. Security guards removed Courtney Love from the stage after she began fighting with her fans because they weren’t cheering loud enough to suit her during the last night of the Lollapalooza tour in Mountain View, CA. Normally it’s the fans who get removed for being drunk and belligerent.

Posted in 20th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August 16, 1962

On August 16, 1962, Reptilian alien Ringo Starr replaced Nordic alien Pete Best as the Beatles’ drummer. This was the first salvo in the 1960s Nordic/Reptilian Alien War. This would finally come to a head when the Greys get involved in 1974 when they force Reptilian Richard Nixon out as President of the United States and replace him with actual human Gerald Ford.

Posted in 20th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August 15, 1960

On August 15, 1960, it was reported that a UFO was sighted by two California highway patrolmen searching for a speeding motorcyclist. Patrolmen Stanley Scott and Charles Carson claimed that it was a large red glowing football shaped object. It was spotted suspiciously hovering over a field. They were able to chase it as it flew through the air for a couple hours before it sped away. Ripsorck Epsilom 14 of Gliese 832, later complained to the American Airforce at Area 51. He said that he made a wrong turn at Mount Rainier and was just trying to get directions, but that the humans in California just assumed that because he was an alien, that he was going to probe their butts. He told the Alien Correspondent Officer the humans frightened him and he was too flustered to just speed off, which is why it took him two hours to get away. Later, when the Air Force went and inspected the field, the cows had unexpectedly become semi-sentient and were holding up signs that said, “Chikins Need Probing Too” and “Ripsorck, Call Me 555-1212”.

Posted in 20th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

August 14, 2126

On August 14, 2126, Comet Swift-Tuttle has informed the astronomers of Earth that it will have a close approach. It has stated that it will not be bringing any disease with it, nor will there be a spaceship hidden within its tail, and that it is not a harbinger of doom and despair. It specifically stated that it was not a steed of one of the four horsemen. So, religious leaders, seers, and prognosticators of all stripes need to stop trying to use it to whip up the masses. And that thing with the dinosaurs, that was just a one-time thing.

Posted in 22nd Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

August 13, 1889

On August 13, 1889, William Gray of Connecticut was issued a patent for a coin-operated telephone. For teenagers today, a payphone was a telephone in a public place where you could put coins in it to call your mom or dad to come and get you. Contrary to common knowledge, there are still some payphones still in operation and if you’re lucky, you can sometimes see them in the wild, in their natural habitat, such as a mall, seedy amusement park, or prison. Some of these still feed off of coins instead of having evolved to consume credit cards. Please be careful when approaching one, as you may learn that Tim Loves Tink or for a good time call Della at 555-1212.

Posted in 19th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

August 12, 1865

On August 12, 1865, British surgeon, Dr. Joseph Lister used a disinfectant for the first time during surgery. Not only did he use carbolic acid to sterilize the patient’s wound, but he also used it to sterilize his surgical equipment, which was practically unheard of at the time. They used to think that just scraping the old blood and various fleshy bits off the equipment was good enough. Dr. Lister’s patient survived both the surgery and recovery, which is where many patients would later die. Lister became known as the pioneer of antiseptic surgery and later had a mouthwash named after him, Listerine.

Posted in 19th Century, Historical Facts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment