June 27, 1978

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1978 the US launched Seasat, an experimental ocean surveillance satellite. Each day Seasat makes 14 orbits of Earth and in 36 hours is able to monitor nearly 96% of the oceanic surface. The satellite’s equipment is able to penetrate cloud cover and report measurements such as wave height, water temperature, currents, winds, icebergs, and coastal characteristics. The satellite was also programmed to directly crossover 47°9′S 126°43′W, 49°51′S 128°34′W, and 48°52.6′S 123°23.6′W in the southern Pacific Ocean, with the last being the “Nemo” point, which is the point in the ocean farthest from any land mass. The satellite for 99 days before it inexplicable failed on October 4, 1978 when it passed over 47°9′S 126°43′W.

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June 26, 1992

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1992 the Supreme Court ruled that fund soliciting can be banned at airports. Religious organizations such as the Hari Krishnas and organized crime rings like the Girls Scouts protested this decision as the Krishnas asked, “How are we going to be able to dance and beg from complete strangers if we can’t accosted them at the airports where they can’t evade us?” and the Lisa “Meat Cleaver” Wilcox of the Girl Scouts said, “Forgetabout that shit, how are we supposed to push 1500 cases of Tag-a-longs a month without the airport traffic business, you know what I mean?”

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June 25, 2013

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 2013 the Shenzhou 10 spacecraft returned to Earth after China’s crew completed its 15 day mission, which was the country’s fifth man spaceflight. China reported that once again, they were unable to located Wan Hu.

 

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June 24, 1947

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1947 Kenneth Arnold reported seeing flying saucers over Mt. Rainier, Washington. He also said that he did not see Bigfoot, beavcoons, la chupacabra, or leprechauns. He did say that with all the drinking he did that night there may have been some unintentional anal probings with the little gray men.

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June 23, 1926

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1926 the first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. One person would silently mouth a phrase and another person from a distance would then have to correctly repeat what they just said. The phrase “The ewe is not a mother-clucker and a ewe is not a fat sow, but a hen is a mother-clucker and she loves the big fat cock who rises every morning,” was immediately banned from all future competitions. The couple John and Harriett Simpson did not win the tournament, but did receive an honorable mention when Harriett silently mouthed, “I know what you were doing with your secretary in Cleveland and I poked holes in all your condoms.”

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June 22, 1847

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1847, Hanson Gregory, created the first ring-shaped doughnut which had a hole in the center. The British have tried through out the years to take credit away from Mr. Gregory and his brilliant insight in cutting a hole in the center of the pastry, as the British version were ‘hole-less’ and not as appetizing. ‘MURICA! Taking something good and making it better.

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June 21, 1974

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! 1974 the U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. They also decided that telling kids that the reason why 1st grade teacher Mrs. Kellen’s bellying has been getting bigger over the last 6 months was because she ate watermelon and swallowed the seeds in August was just stupid. They should just tell the little bastards that she and her husband went to Tequila Thursdays every Thursday during August.

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June 20, 1909

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1909 artist Roger Burham and his bride author Eleanor Waring have their honeymoon in a balloon for 3 and ½ hours at Holbrook, Mass.

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June 19, 1988

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1988 the world’s longest sausage was created in London and it measured in at 13 miles long. Both Texas and Australia complained and said that they weren’t even given a chance to compete and they wanted a recount. They were denied. On December 1, 2014, the city of Ploiesti City, Romania eclipsed the 28 year old record when they created a sausage that measured 39 miles long. The town leaders of Ploiesti City said the reason they had such a long sausage was because of good, healthy living and genetics.

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June 18, 1928

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1928 Amelia Earhart completed the flight from Newfoundland to Wales and became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean as a passenger. The pilots Wilmer Stultz and Louis Gordon didn’t ask her to serve drinks or hand out small packets of peanuts because they knew she’d bitch slap them and fly the plane herself.

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