September 4, 1833

On THIS DATE IN TWISTED-HISTORY! in 1833, Barney Flaherty answered an ad in “The New York Sun” and became the first newsboy/paperboy at the age of 10. With his Irish waifish good-looks and small stature, he was able to stick in the big leagues and sell papers on the street corners in New York for seven long years, but as he aged and puberty set in, the newer boys started eating into his business and he knew that he had to get into a new line of work, or the times would pass him by. Barney quickly developed a group of Irish orphans into a newspaper selling gang with him as their leader, and they became known as the “Fighting Flaherties”. Seriously, they were an Irish gang, fighting had to be in their name, it’s like an Irish law brought over from Ireland. The “Fighting Flaherties” controlled the street corner newspaper selling in New York for years, until Barney decided to branch out into prostitution and gambling, which happened at the same time the Civil War broke out. Barney Flaherty and his gang were drafted and lost their opportunity to branch out into whores and numbers and instead found themselves assigned to the Quartermaster Corp (supplies and distribution) of the Union Army. Barney thought he was a master criminal until he met the men that ran this division and decided that it would be easier to get rich stealing with the government’s help than it was when it was actively trying to stop you. Barney Flaherty retired from the US Army in 1890 at the age of 63 as a very rich 1st Sergeant and lived the remainder of his days in semi-discomfort until he died from syphilis.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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