On September 18, 2004, Pop star Britney Spears and backup dancer/gigolo Kevin Federline were married. Hardcore conspiracy theorists that tied modern day events to the ramblings of Nostradamus and John of Patmos declined to make any comment other than, “It’s too fecking easy. Too easy. It’s got to be a government plot to distract us from the Truth.”
I once knew a mainframe that married his backup tape drive. There weren’t any conspiracy theories about it, but we were all pretty sure it wouldn’t work out. Surprisingly, they’re still together. I think their secret is that they always Share Twisted-History. You’d be amazed what a difference that can make.