September 18, 2004

On September 18, 2004, Pop star Britney Spears and backup dancer/gigolo Kevin Federline were married. Hardcore conspiracy theorists that tied modern day events to the ramblings of Nostradamus and John of Patmos declined to make any comment other than, “It’s too fecking easy. Too easy. It’s got to be a government plot to distract us from the Truth.”

I once knew a mainframe that married his backup tape drive. There weren’t any conspiracy theories about it, but we were all pretty sure it wouldn’t work out. Surprisingly, they’re still together. I think their secret is that they always Share Twisted-History. You’d be amazed what a difference that can make.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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