October 19, 1,450,000,002 BCE

On October 19, 1,450,000,002 BCE, the first single cell organism evolved a mitochondria. The rest of the single cell organisms sniffed and one of them, Steve, said, “Isn’t that just like Sharon, always trying something new. SHE claims it will revolutionize everything. Like we need a powerhouse inside us. We’ve been fine for the last 2.2 billion years, why change now.” The rest of the single cell organisms looked at Steve who always complained about everything and asked, “What’s a ‘she’?”

This is how it starts. First you develop mitochondria. Then the next thing you know, you're going all multicellular, which is a bad idea, because that's how you eventually get humans. And nobody wants that. Share Twisted-History, before you evolve into something even stranger.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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