November 9, 1541

On November 9, 1541, Henry VIII, the King of England confined his fifth wife, Queen Catherine Howard, to the Tower of London. In 2017, when President Donald Trump finally learned of Henry VIII’s behavior, he asked Steve Bannon if he could build a Tower of New York and confined all the talkative pornstars there to keep them from blabbing to the press. When his current wife Melania heard of his inquiries, she put her foot down and demanded that he send the pornstars to Russia, like he promised. He was unable to fulfill that promise as every one of the naughty women he’d defiled refused to get into any limo or plane that Trump sent to them, no matter how much money he’d thrown in the back seats.

The Tower would’ve also had floors for people who know his taxes, grades, and medical information. Share this post for a list of everyone else that soon-to-be-ex-President Trump would like to lock in a Tower. Bonus points if you're on the list.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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