November 30, 1016

Posted on November 30, 2014 by Joel Byers

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1016, Edmund Ironside, King of England died while sitting on the toilet in his castle in London, England. Unlike Elvis who died of a heart attack from extreme constipation while sitting on the toilet, Edmund was sitting on a privy (which is just a wooden seat situated over a hole, which is very similar to an ‘indoor’ outhouse) when an assassin, who was hiding inside the privy, thrust his longsword up and into the king’s rectum. Rectum?! Damn, it killed’em! Because Edmund died of natural causes (having a sword pushed up your butt was a natural cause in 1016 AD) Cnut became king of England in 1016 AD.

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About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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