On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1961, the Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by NASA with Enos ‘Chim-Chim’ the Chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before safely landing in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Puerto Rico.
Immediately afterwards, Chim-Chim was interviewed by Primate Monthly and asked how if felt to be chosen by NASA to orbit the Earth and return safely. Chim-Chim’s eyes bulged in outrage as he explained that he hadn’t been aware that he was going on a space-ride at the time. He thought he was just going to be ‘testing’ the equipment for the later use by the human astronauts. He said that he’d never have set opposable-toed foot in the cockpit if he’d known that it was going to lift off. He also said that the next person who used his space-suit had a nasty surprise waiting on them, and it should be just as nasty as his surprise when the rockets kicked in. He was also disappointed that the buttons and levers inside the cockpit were apparently disabled, as he hit, pushed, kicked and bit every one of them during his trip as he tried to abort the mission.
Where’s my cheeseburger? I was promised a cheeseburger.
I’m starting to think there is no cheeseburger.
Lying bastards.