May 9, 1994

On May 9, 1994, South African civil rights activist, Nelson Mandela, was elected as South Africa’s first black president. This surprised many people as they firmly remember him dying in prison in the 1980s. They claim that his twelve disciples abandoned him just before his death and that the South African Apartheid government placed his body in a stone tomb. They remember South Africa’s President, PW Botha, setting an armed guard around the tomb to prevent the Anti-Apartheid movement from stealing his body. Botha’s government said nothing when Mandela’s body went missing and he miraculously materialized in prison for the rest of the 1980s and started performing miracles, such as teaching a man to fish, leading a horse to water, and stopping a woman from throwing a baby out with the bath water. It is believed he did this sort of amazing deeds until Botha had to release him in February 1990. Or, and this is just spitballing here. Mandela DIDN’T die in prison in the 1980s. He was alive the whole time. He didn’t rise from the dead and he didn’t perform any miracles. People just made shit up, because that’s what people have been doing for the last 4,000 years. Making shit up because it made a good story.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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