May 24, 1830

On May 24, 1830, the poem ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb” by Sarah Josepha Hale was first published. Unknown to most people, this was her second attempt to get this poem published. Editors kept rejecting her first rendition as being too dark. Below is the recently recovered first attempt, also titled, “Mary Had A Little Lamb”

 

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb

Mary had a little lamb,

Cause the pork was two days old.

 

And everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went,

Everywhere that Mary went,

The steak had already been sold.

 

Mary took her horse to the knackers one day, knackers one day, knackers one day,

Mary took her old horse to the knackers one day,

And they paid her 25 cents per pound.

 

Mary decided to try long pork one night, long pork one night, long pork one night,

Mary decided to try long pork one night,

With fava beans and a nice Chianti.

 

Mary started selling questionable meat pies the next day, delectable meat pies the next day, savory meat pies the next day,

Mary started selling aromatic meat pies the next day,

Just as Old Man Winters down the street disappeared.

 

The police arrested Mary that week, arrested Mary that week, arrested Mary that week,

The constables arrested Mary that week,

Because they found a severed finger in one of the meat pies that Mary had sold.

 

Her second attempt seemed suitably light for the 1830s market.

 

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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