On March 17, 461, St. Patrick died in Saul, UK. St. Patrick was famous for driving the snakes out of Ireland, which was amazing, as Ireland never had any snakes to begin with. After his death, his fellow religious brothers found missives from Australia, South Africa and Snake Island, Brazil. Each of the letters were from the snakes of those areas inviting St. Patrick to come over there and try some of his ‘driving out’ bullshit. Those same brothers also found several attempts of St. Patrick to respond. They all said pretty much the same thing. “I never said I drove the snakes out. Other people said I drove the snakes out. In fact, some of my best friends are snakes. I’m not anti-snake, I just think you shouldn’t be allowed to vote, own property or date white women. Remember what you did to Eve?” These responses were quietly hidden from public view.
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