March 17, 461

On March 17, 461, St. Patrick died in Saul, UK. St. Patrick was famous for driving the snakes out of Ireland, which was amazing, as Ireland never had any snakes to begin with. After his death, his fellow religious brothers found missives from Australia, South Africa and Snake Island, Brazil. Each of the letters were from the snakes of those areas inviting St. Patrick to come over there and try some of his ‘driving out’ bullshit. Those same brothers also found several attempts of St. Patrick to respond. They all said pretty much the same thing. “I never said I drove the snakes out. Other people said I drove the snakes out. In fact, some of my best friends are snakes. I’m not anti-snake, I just think you shouldn’t be allowed to vote, own property or date white women. Remember what you did to Eve?” These responses were quietly hidden from public view.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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