March 16, 1836

Posted on March 16, 2014 by Joel Byers

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1836 – The Republic of Texas approved their new constitution. Texas also wrote a Bill of Rights to be included with their new-fangled constitution and it included the following ‘Rights’ and some ‘Wrongs’. You have the right to wear a ten gallon hat while in church, the right to shoot first and ask questions later, the right to wear cowboys boots and not be forced to actually ride a horse, the right for women in Texas to have big hair and tattoos that read “If you can read this, you’d better hope my husband doesn’t come home early.” Some of the ‘Wrongs’ included; if you drank anything other than whiskey or beer, you were wrong to expect the bartender to put a little umbrella in it. You were wrong to think that Alaska is bigger than Texas because anything north of Oklahoma doesn’t really exist. If you believed in any science that didn’t help create bigger cows or get oil out of the ground faster, you were wrong. When Representative James “Bowlegged” McCurdy pointed out that growing bigger cows through scientific means was based upon biotechnology and evolution, he was immediately accused of being a liberal and intellectual. He quickly pointed out he was the one that put in the new Texan Constitution the rule that prohibited Mexicans, Blacks, Indians, and women from voting and the rest of the Representatives quietly put away their pitchforks, torches and rope.

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About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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