March 13, 2012

On This Date in! in 2012 a Harvard Medical School study claimed that eating red meat increased the risk of death and has additional negative health implications. They also stated that it wasn’t healthy for people either, although beef is delicious. A subsequent study done by the Beef Growers Association of America did say that beef eaten in moderation would help reduce the methane output of cows by reducing the number of cows. The also pointed out that cows were behind every conspiracy in the history of mankind and that it was every American’s patriotic duty to eat more beef to prevent cows from becoming uppity and trying to take over the government. The Beef Growers Association did reference the Chik-Fil-A advertisements of cows’ telepathic powers and evil intentions against the peace loving chickens and how they could easily turn against humans if they ever developed opposable thumbs.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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