June 21, 2020

Posted on June 21, 2020 by Joel Byers

On June 21, 2020, the world is supposed to end, again. Interpreters of the Mayan Calendar believed the previous prediction of December 21, 2012 was wrong. They believed they dropped the Kukulkan when they were supposed to carry the Jaguar. So, no fooling, June 21, 2020 is the day. Everything is going to end, supposedly. Ezekiel said the four horsemen of sword, famine, wild beasts and plague would stalk the Earth prior to its ending. Well, in 2020 we’ve already had race riots, global warming, murder hornets and COVID-19. How much more evidence do you want? So, buy Afterlife Insurance with the Twisted Historian. For a small monthly fee I’ll make sure your cash and valuables will get sent to you in your afterlife destination. Just send your cash and valuables to the Twisted Historian for safe keeping. I’m outside time and space, so when you get to Heaven, I can transfer them to you. And if you surprisingly end up in the other place, I can still get it to you, it’ll just cost more. A lot more. Now if you’re thinking to yourself, “Twisted Historian, I’m of such and such religion, and I’m going to the Good Place, unlike those heathens and sinners that believe in such and such other stuff”. Well, there’s a one in three chance you’re right, two in three you’re wrong. So, why take a chance when you can buy Afterlife Insurance. For most of you, you’re going to need a really good air conditioner.

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About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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