July 8, 1982

On July 8, 1982, the most perfect carbonated beverage was introduced to the world. The Coca-Cola Company unveiled Diet Coke to a thirsty global population. Diet Coke may not cure scurvy, prevent memory loss, make your troglodyte boyfriend funnier or more attentive. But it does taste better than Pepsi or any of those other off-brand knockoffs. So remember, unlike your ungrateful kids, Diet Coke will never ask for money, nor will it tell you that those pants make you look fat, even if it should. Diet Coke, the true love of your life. This Twisted-History is not brought to you by Diet Coke or the Coca-Cola Company. But the Coca-Cola Company needs to know that I heard Pepsi knocking on the door, asking if anyone was home.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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