July 31, 1989

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1989 the Game Boy handheld video game device was released in the U.S. Unknown to most Americans, the Nintendo Game Boy was a long-term strategy by the Japanese to reduce the American youth to weak, overweight, lethargic, couch potatoes who would be unable to defend the United States in the event Japan ever declared war again. The ruse worked as the number of overweight American children has tripled so that now 1 in 3 are considered overweight or obese. Unfortunately, the Japanese had to try the games on their own children first to see if it would work, and while they aren’t as overweight as Americans, they do have a significantly weaker sex drive and the Japanese are now concerned with their aging population and why aren’t boys and girls making enough babies. The answer: Game Boy by Nintendo.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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