July 2, 1976

On July 2, 1976, the US Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty was not inherently cruel or unusual, but could be if you did it right. They recommended that the brazen bull be brought back. That’s where the condemned is placed in a hollow, bronze bull and then a fire is lit under it, in effect, cooking the person alive. They also mentioned that burning alive and drowning was popular in Salem at one time. The Justices hinted that Vlad Dracula had enormous success with impalement, although the condemned considered it a huge pain in the ass. It was also said that if crucifixion was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for red-blooded American criminals.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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