July 15, 1799

On July 15th, 1799 – The Rosetta Stone was found in the Egyptian village of Rosetta by French Captain Pierre-François Bouchard during Napoleon’s Egyptian Campaign. The Rosetta Stone is an ancient Egyptian stone stele inscribed with a decree issued at Memphis in 196 BC on behalf of King Ptolemy V. The decree appears in three scripts: Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, Demotic script, Ancient Greek. Because it presents essentially the same text in all three scripts (with some minor differences among them), it provided the key to the modern understanding of Egyptian hieroglyphs and helped solved one of the most sought after mysteries of the ancient world; such as how they made the first beer. With the Rosetta Stone, in 1824, a conclave of Brew-masters from England, Belgium, Bavaria, Germany, and even France were able to decode the hieroglyphs found in the ruins of a brewery uncovered underneath the Great Pyramid in Giza and promptly proceeded to recreate this ancient beverage. Following the recipe to the letter (or in the case of Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs to the jackal-headed god walking sideways) the learned gentlemen were able to reproduce the beer within a fortnight and held a tasting party at the countryside manor of Comte de Villele, since the French prostitutes were considered less poxy at that time. The clinking of mugs and laughter of all present resounded within the manor as the party’s participants took the first sips of the newly brewed beer and then spitting and cursing quickly followed as it was learned that the ancient Egyptians brewed horrible beer. One of the prostitutes was quoted as saying, “Well lawsy, its still has bread in it, doesn’t it, you can almost eat it like a bad tasting stew!”

The English representative, Brewmaster Jason Guinness, said that the only beer that’s worse than ancient Egyptian beer is the Peruvian beer, Chicha, and it has a good excuse, since they use spit to start the fermentation process.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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