February 22, 1819

On February 22, 1819, Spain ceded Florida to the United States via the Adams-Onis Treaty of 1819. No money was exchanged but the western boundaries of the United States and the Spanish Territories in the Americas were negotiated. This treaty was considered an American diplomatic success at the time. In 2008, Georgia and Alabama had finally had enough with Florida’s overall drunken antics and decided to ‘do’ something about their southern-most neighbor. After reviewing the homeowners association bylaws, which were unfortunately revised in 1865 and 1866, they found that they couldn’t force Florida to secede from the United States. But there wasn’t anything in there about Florida being ‘sold’ to someone else. So in 2009, Georgia and Alabama wooed and tried to convince Spain to buy back the ownership of Florida. Georgia and Alabama graciously showed off Miami, Tallahassee, Key West, Sarasota, Tampa and Orlando to the Spanish delegates and made a point to take them by every jai alai court they could find. The Georgia and Alabama sales team thought that Spain was ready and eager to buy, but after visiting Gainesville and Jacksonville, and observing the jean-shorts wearing natives of northern and central Florida, the Spanish delegation hurriedly said, “Gracias, pero no gracias” and took the first available Delta flight back to Madrid. Then because of the changing weather patterns due to climate change, several hurricanes hit Florida and now no one will buy it. Something about it no longer being in mint or near mint condition.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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