December 15, 1654

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com! in 1654 a meteorological office established in Tuscany began recording daily temperature readings and used the first enclosed liquid-in-a-glass thermometer invented by Ferdinand II, the Grand Duke of Tuscany. Interestingly, a meteorological office in Moscow also began recording daily temperature readings later that year when Alexis I, Tsar of Russia decided that Russians would not be upstaged by a soft and pampered Italian noble. The scale used was

It’s Cold – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, My Nose Is Red – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, My Fingers Are Numb – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, Will The Sun Ever Rise – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, Even The Tax Collectors Refuse To Walk Around In This Weather – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold – Holy shit is that dog frozen to the fire hydrant, must be a tourist as a good Russian dog would know better than to pee on a fire hydrant when it’s Cold.
It’s Cold, Even Your Sister Titania the Furry Human She-Bear Is Looking Good – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, And The Laughter Is The Foolishness Of The Young And The One’s Lucky Enough To Be Married To Real Women And Not Furry She-Bears Named Titania – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Cold, Let’s Invade Poland, It Might Be Warm There – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.
It’s Really Cold, God must hate us – Let’s drink some vodka to warm up.

And that was the scale that Alexis I devised. The Russians are a literal people with simple solutions. They didn’t need many words to describe how cold it was and their solution for the cold and how to deal with it were straight-forward and to the point.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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