August 30, 1831

On THIS DATE IN TWISTED-HISTORY! in 1831, Charles “The Chuckster” Darwin refused to travel on the HMS Beagle, and screamed that his contract demanded that his state-room have a tin filled with only the green M&Ms, a plushy tortoise throw pillow, and his Victorian-era porn (The Chuckster loved his exposed ankles). Captain Robert FitzRoy became angry and said that the band was finished before it even started and that “The Chuckster” wasn’t bigger than the band and he could just sit at home and catalog his butterflies. Their differences were finally ironed out and the HMS Beagle began her grand South American tour on December 27, 1831. As a side note, The Chuckster got his green only M&Ms.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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