August 3, 1527

On this DAY IN HISTORY! in 1527, John Rut sent the first known letter from North America. The missive traveled from St. John’s, Newfoundland to King Henry VIII in England. It read as follows:

“Oi! Hank! Hows em hanging, huh? How’s the wife, not gonna bother remembering their names until you do, HAH! I’m here at Camp Vinland and staying in the same cabin that Leif Eriksson did. I think I got the same bunk because I can see where he carved his name on the headboard. It’s in that Viking runic crap, but I’m pretty sure it’s his name. You know, he was a ginger like you and he liked chopping off heads too! There’s a bunch of Normans (Frenchman) and Portugese here, but I’ve got some buds out of Liverpool here in case of a dust-up, if you know what I mean, and I know you do, HAH! Wish you were here instead of me and I’ll be headed home soon. Best regards,

John Rut

P.S. Are you sure it’s bad luck to take prostitutes on a ship, cause the native women here will shoot arrows at you and it’s getting devilishly difficult to trick the sea otters to come aboard. There’s only so much they’ll do for a fish.

P.S.S. Seriously, just how much bad luck can it be?

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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