August 2, 1100

On August 2, 1100 CE, King William II of England went hunting with his buddies. Remember, during this time, hunters weren’t required to wear bright orange vests and like the redneck white-trash the nobility was, they were drinking heavily. King William and his hunting party got separated while ‘hunting’. Walter Tirel, one of the noblemen, thought he saw a stag and shot an arrow at it. It was King William II. The arrow struck him in his chest and killed him instantly. Every nobleman there did exactly what you think they would. They immediately ran away like little boys who had just broke a neighbor’s window playing ball. They left the body there, abandoning it. Walter Tirel fled to France, where he lived in exile for the rest of his life. William’s brother Henry, once he heard about William’s death also did exactly what you’d expect. He took his men and charged immediately to Winchester to secure the royal treasury and had himself proclaimed king. What? You thought he was going to go and get his brother’s body? No. This was English nobility in 1100 CE. You secure the cash first, then you get the body. So, remember folks, if you’re an English King and you don’t have any kids and it doesn’t even look like you will, maybe you shouldn’t go hunting with your drunken buddies if you want to live a long life enjoying the royal life.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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