April 28, 1992

On April 28, 1992, the US Agriculture Department unveiled the food pyramid diet chart. Jim Bob Thibodeaux of Demopolis, Alabama was so impressed he released his own. Although, to be honest, it was more of a mound in a roughly pyramid shape. It consisted of cans of potted meat, Little Debbie Oatmeal pies, ice cold cans of Bud Lite, fried baloney sandwiches, white bread, buckets of KFC chicken, Slim Jims, a couple of packs of Malboros, and some fried catfish and hushpuppies for the fiber. Jim Bob tried to get the local school system to teach his food mound as part of their home economics course, but they refused. They said they’d have to drop “How to Tell Your Cousin That You Couldn’t Go to the Prom With Them”, and they needed to keep that in there to prevent unwanted teen pregnancies.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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