September 11, 1997

On September 11, 1997, Scotland voted to create its own Parliament after 290 years of mostly peaceful union with England. Why did they do it? It’s because the rest of England didn’t understand the true joy and performance art that deep-frying a Mars Bar brought to a man’s cholesterol choked heart. Also, they’re Scottish and they’re contrary by nature. The Welsh considered forming their own Parliament, but they couldn’t figure out how to respell Parliament by adding some unnecessary consonants that sound like vowels and vowels that sound like consonants, so they gave up and went back to stealing sheep.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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