October 28, 2017

On October 28, 2017, the Xiangnian Food Co., Ltd. in Nanyang, Henan, China, made the longest noodle ever recorded, which stretched for 10,119 feet and 1.92 inches, according to Guinness World Records. It took more than 88 pounds of flour, more than 7.5 gallons of water, and more than a pound of salt, as well as 17 hours, to make the noodle. The impressive pasta was eventually chopped up and served to staff and elderly guests. When the reporter asked why they decided to make such a long noodle, the Xiangnian Food Company said, “Why don’t you ask yo mama why she likes the long noodle.” The reporter immediate broke down crying and sobbed, “My momma likes short noodles. She does! Dad! Dad! They’re making fun of our short noodles again! DAD!”

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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