May 31, 1279 BCE

On May 31, 1279 BCE, Ramesses II, also called Ramesses the Great became Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt. He is probably the greatest Pharaoh of the Ancient Egyptian empire. He captured territory from all of his neighbors, North, South, East, and West with his powerful armies, built many buildings and temples and lived to the ripe old age of 90. Storytellers also claim he was the Pharaoh that squared off against Moses and lost. Except, the Bible doesn’t name who the Pharaoh was in that myth. It conveniently leaves it blank. It’s like that friend you have that has a hot Canadian girlfriend. He never says what her name is. That’s how the Bible is about who the Pharaoh was. Also, in the Egyptian records, they don’t ever mention anything like the ten plagues happening, or Ramesses losing a large section of his army when the Red Sea collapsed around them. Or the fact that the Red Sea was divided in half by magic. Or the fact that around 2 million Israelite slaves left Egypt at that time, which would have collapsed its economy and prevented Ramesses II from doing any of the deeds he was recorded doing, not just by the Egyptian records, but also by the records of the Hittites, Nubians, and Syrians. In fact, the Egyptian records don’t mention anything about the Israelites living in Egypt as slaves or freemen. You’d think the Egyptian scribes would have been excited to write about all those miraculous events. It would have been remembered. Also, you’d think the writers of Exodus would have remembered the name of the most important person in Egypt, if they’d really been there. Also, that friend with the hot Canadian girlfriend, he’s going to claim her name is Lisa. Don’t be fooled. They’re all named Lisa in Canada. Shoot, I think the Pharaoh’s name was also Lisa. “And Moses said, Lisa, let my people go.”

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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