January 20, 1982

On January 20, 1982, Heavy Metal Rock God, Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a dead bat while giving a concert in Des Moines, Iowa. The deceased, rancid corpse of the rodent was tossed on the stage during the concert, and the drugged up Crowned Prince of Dark Metal snatched it up and chewed off its head. Some of the concert goers closer to the stage later claimed that they heard Ozzy slur the word, ‘braaaaiiins’ before chowing down, but it being Ozzy, he could have been slurring anything. He could have even said, “Shhhaaaaarrrooooon,” and nobody would have really known. He was subsequently rushed to a nearby hospital and given injections for rabies. No one is sure if Ozzy mutated into a zombie afterwards or if it was just his previous drug use that caused his physical transmutation.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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