December 21, 1970

On December 21, 1970, Elvis Presley, the younger, better looking and more talented ootheca-sibling of Ripsorck Epsilom 14 of Gliese 832 met with fellow ootheca-sibling and US President Richard Nixon in the White House. Elvis was there to remind Richie not to do anything stupid like their older sibling, Ripsorck. It had taken a lot of Earth money and a couple of assassinations to put Nixon in the US Presidency, so he was warned not to screw it up as it was going to take until at least 1975 before the Gliesean Space Armada could arrive and steal Earth’s oceans. It turns out that Ripsorck wasn’t the biggest loser in that family, as Tricky Dick started illegally wire-tapping the Democrats in 1972, got caught in 1973 and resigned in 1974 as President. What’s really odd was how good an imitation of Mark Felt, Sr., that Ripsorck was able to do, even years later.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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