Author Archives: Joel Byers

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.

September 24, 1890

On September 24, 1890, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints officially renounced polygamy. The church elders said that the fantasy of multiple wives jumping to the beck and call of one husband was just that, a stupid fantasy. … Continue reading

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September 23, 1938

On September 23, 1938, a time capsule was buried at the World’s Fair in New York City. It was ordered to not be opened until 6939. The time capsule contained a woman’s hat, a man’s pipe and 1,100 feet of … Continue reading

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September 22, 1979

On September 22, 1979 a bright flash, now known as the Vela Incident, was observed in the Indian Ocean near Prince Edward Islands. It was detected by the American Vela satellite which carried various sensors designed to detect nuclear explosions … Continue reading

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September 21, 1915

On September 21, 1915, British millionaire Cecil Chubb was attending an auction that the Antrobus family had put on following the death of the last surviving male Antrobus heir. While there, he was able to purchase an item for £6,600 … Continue reading

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September 20, 1881

On September 20, 1881, Chester A. Arthur was sworn in as the 21st President of the United States after the assassination of James A. Garfield by crazy man Charles J. Guiteau. Guiteau believed that his imagined critical support of Garfield … Continue reading

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September 19, 1959

On September 19, 1959 Nikita Khrushchev was denied entry to Disneyland when his unrelenting stalking of Clarabelle Cow came to light. Ms. Clarabelle Cow said she just didn’t feel safe if Little Nikita was allowed within 500 yards of her … Continue reading

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September 18, 2004

On September 18, 2004, Pop star Britney Spears and backup dancer/gigolo Kevin Federline were married. Hardcore conspiracy theorists that tied modern day events to the ramblings of Nostradamus and John of Patmos declined to make any comment other than, “It’s … Continue reading

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September 17, 1997

On September 17, 1997, John Bell, age 115, of Baltimore, Maryland, received a new pacemaker. He had apparently outlived the battery of the one that was implanted when he was a young and spry 104. When asked if he wanted … Continue reading

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September 16, 1943

On September 16, 1943, the Swiss scientist Dr. Albert Hofmann discovered the psychedelic effects of LSD. He wasn’t sure at first, but when the fluorescent giraffe explained he was rowing on the wrong side of the bed, he knew he … Continue reading

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September 15, 668

On September 15, 668 CE, Eastern Roman Emperor Constans II died an ignoble death. While he was taking a bath in his mansion in Syracuse, Sicily, his chamberlain beat him to death with a wooden bucket. Why? It was because … Continue reading

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