August 8, 1894

On August 8, 1894, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and his brother, Will Keith Kellogg accidentally invented Corn Flakes. They found that the new invention was a welcome addition to the vegetarian diet of Dr. Kellogg’s patients at Battle Creek Sanitarium. Dr. Kellogg fervently believed that the cereal would help reduce the urge of his patients to ‘self abuse’ aka onanism aka the ‘solitary vice’ aka the ‘beast with only one back’ aka ‘God’s gonna kill a kitten if you don’t stop doing that’. His mental patients were masturbating and Dr. Kellogg thought it was icky. He believed if they ate his cornflakes it would remove the urge. Spoiler alert. It didn’t.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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