August 15, 1960

On August 15, 1960, it was reported that a UFO was sighted by two California highway patrolmen searching for a speeding motorcyclist. Patrolmen Stanley Scott and Charles Carson claimed that it was a large red glowing football shaped object. It was spotted suspiciously hovering over a field. They were able to chase it as it flew through the air for a couple hours before it sped away. Ripsorck Epsilom 14 of Gliese 832, later complained to the American Airforce at Area 51. He said that he made a wrong turn at Mount Rainier and was just trying to get directions, but that the humans in California just assumed that because he was an alien, that he was going to probe their butts. He told the Alien Correspondent Officer the humans frightened him and he was too flustered to just speed off, which is why it took him two hours to get away. Later, when the Air Force went and inspected the field, the cows had unexpectedly become semi-sentient and were holding up signs that said, “Chikins Need Probing Too” and “Ripsorck, Call Me 555-1212”.

About Joel Byers

Born in North Georgia and educated at some very fine public institutions. Real education started after graduating from college and then getting married and raising two boys. Has the ability to see the funny and absurd in most things and will always remark on it, even if it means getting the stink-eye from his victims.
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