Tag Archives: inventors

May 5, 1809

On May 5, 1809, Mary Kies of Connecticut was the first American woman to be issued a patent. It was for the technique she came up with for weaving straw with silk and thread to make hats. Johann Fischart Rumpelstiltskin of Gnomes, Gnomes, and Elves of Austria immediately sent notice to Mrs. Kies that she … Continue reading

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January 27, 1926

On January 27, 1926, Scottish inventor, John Baird, demonstrated his pictorial transmission machine, which he also called a television. He said the picture only came in black, white, and grey and he wanted to know “why ye needed any more than that, you extravagant bastards!”

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September 18, 1971

On September 18, 1971, Momofuku Ando marketed the first Cup Noodle (Instant Ramen) and packaged it in a waterproof polystyrene container. Poor college students worldwide went “meh”, but bought them anyway because they were so cheap.

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July 14, 1868

On July 14, 1868, Alvin J. Fellows of New Haven, Connecticut, patented the spring-click tape measure. This is the one that with a push of a button will return the measuring length back into a circular case. It was recommended that Fellows make two separate types of tape measures. One for men and one for … Continue reading

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July 12, 1870

On July 12, 1870, William W. Lyman of Meriden, Connecticut patented the first rotating wheel can-opener. At his death on November 15, 1891, Fluffy, his large calico cat gave the eulogy. Fluffy explained how Provider of the Moist Food, which is what he called Lyman, would be eternally canonized by the cat-faithful and how human’s … Continue reading

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May 14, 1853

On May 14, 1853, Gail Borden, land surveyor, newspaper publisher and inventor, patented his process for condensed milk. That’s right, his process. In 1853, Gail was a boy’s name. Well, it really wasn’t, but he was Gail Borden, Jr. Which means that his dad, Gail Borden, Sr., was determined to not be the only boy … Continue reading

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April 26, 1882

On This Date in TWISTED-HISTORY.com in 1882 inventor John Sutliff patented a perpetual motion machine (Patent No. 257,103). He labeled it “motor” and the patent clerks passed it, because even in 1882 they were on the lookout for crazy inventions to deny. The invention was quite simple and easily built and it quickly proved to … Continue reading

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